Giving their ambitious project nearly 370 minutes once you factor in stoppages | The Fiver

Crystal Palace have always had progressive tendencies. Often this has been manifest in the club’s clobber: the modernist CP logo of the early 70s; the time they wore their numbers on their sleeves; the white shirt with iconic blue-and-red diagonal sash. Other times it becomes apparent in their style of play, as anyone who recalls the fun side built by Terry Venables back in the day will attest. No doubt the fact that the self-styled Team of the Eighties got themselves relegated from the top flight in 1981 and didn’t get back until 1989, the entire decade they were supposed to define having passed them by, will be painted by some as hubristic failure on an epic scale. But only by cynics whose price-to-value ratio is all out of whack. At least Palace aimed for the stars. At least they tried.
That frontier spirit never dies, and this summer Palace took another brave new direction, this time deciding to turn themselves into English football’s answer to Ajax. It was the only logical progression after the Tony Pulis, Alan Pardew and Sam Allardyce eras. But sadly, grand hopes have once again turned to dust in short order. Having given their ambitious root-and-branch project nearly 370 minutes once you factor in stoppages, the plug has been pulled on manager Frank de Boer, whose 77-day, four-game reign, literally pointless in more ways than one, makes transient Charlton sensation Les Reed look like the lovechild of Lord Ferg and Guy Roux.
De Boer could be forgiven for wondering what the hell just happened back there, and whether he’d have been given a little more time had Christian Benteke not blasted over at Anfield from six yards, or if Scott Dann managed to score at Burnley yesterday by guiding the ball home from tap-in range with the top of his confused face. But Palace couldn’t wait forever for results to improve, and so they’ll replace the only man to win four consecutive Dutch titles with a bloke whose career highlights consist of losing the 1997 Euro Vase final, losing the 2010 Euro Vase final, signing Paul Konchesky for Liverpool, and going on a lovely boat trip down the Seine because it’s only Iceland next.

Some may argue that the imminent appointment of Mr Roy demonstrates a lack of joined-up thinking, especially as chairman Steve Parish was active on social media atrocity Twitter last night, calling for “some sense” and for everyone to “stick together”, what with the season being just four matches old. But as far as The Fiver’s concerned, this episode is yet another commendable example of how Palace are always thinking, always looking forward, always prepared to bravely explore another new avenue. And at least they’re trying!

Follow minute-by-minute updates of Taxpayers FC 1-1 Huddersfield Town with Scott Murray at 7.45pm (UK time).
“The Keepmoat Stadium car boot scheduled for Sunday September 17 will not take place. Doncaster Rovers take on [Firewall FC] in Sky Bet League One on Sunday September 17, and due to match preparations there will be no car boot taking place at the Keepmoat Stadium on that day” – Rovers break the bad news to South Yorkshire-based bargain-hunters after the rescheduling of the ding-dong encounter between Doncaster and Firewall FC.

“It is a great shame that Palace have not continued where I left off” – roughly 21 seconds after Frank de Boer’s sacking, Sam Allardyce pops up on TV.
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“I have been staring at the photo you found of Chester for at least 15 minutes with a giant grin on my face. It so perfectly encapsulates the non- or lower-league football experience, or at least my clear imagining of what happened in it does. Note the following: there are five players in the six-yard box; you have to look at it for a little while to work out which team is defending and which attacking; the guy on the line (I have decided he is defending) seems to be ducking, and at any rate is well within the goal itself, rendering his contribution meaningless; the keeper is lying flat on the ground; one attacker is horizontal to the ground, seemingly moving away from goal; the other defender was clearly hopelessly out of position which is why he is looking like he’s trying to hold in a fart; and finally the other attacker, in acres of space, and the only player not prone or otherwise out of action, is looking up at his shot as it sails softly over the empty net from less than three yards out. Absolutely marvellous!” – Michael Johns.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … oh, come on!

Gus Poyet has located Shanghai Shenhua’s door marked 做一个 and lobbed himself through it after a 2-1 loss to Henan Jianye left the team 12th in the 16-team Chinese Super League. “From today, Mr Poyet will no longer be head coach of the club,” blathered some suit or other.
Spurs boss Mauricio Pochettino can’t get his head around Uefa rules which mean Eric Dier is considered a foreign player in Big Cup. “It’s unbelievable that Eric Dier is not home-grown when he’s playing for England. That is so strange, no?” he head-scratched.
Slaven Bilic has told Diafra Sakho to put his Rennes-based Peter Odemwingie tribute act behind him and focus on Taxpayers FC, who play Huddersfield Town tonight. “I told him: sit there, hopefully you are now going to get fit,” said Bilic of his revolutionary sitting down-based exercise regime.
Danny Drinkwater’s Chelsea career has been put on hold for a few games due to a troublesome case of calf-gah! “We are waiting to check on the problem,” sniffed Antonio Conte.
Karl-Heinz Rummenigge isn’t happy with Robert Lewandowski’s hot chat about Bayern’s transfer spending this summer. “Whoever publicly criticises the club or his team-mates will get in trouble with me personally,” he growled.
And Tony Blair’s Big Plan for keeping England and Scotland “culturally aligned” post-devolution was to introduce an all-British league. “I know it sounds a bit strange,” he honked of the notoriously culturally aligned England and Scotland fans. “But I was for a time quite obsessed with the idea.”
Join Max Rushden, Barry Glendenning, Barney Ronay and floating football brain in a jar Jonathan Wilson for Football Weekly!
Ten talking points from the Premier League action. Go on, count them!
N’Golo Kanté has added winning goals to his ridiculously rich repertoire, coos Paul Doyle.
Sadio Mané’s red card was not bad luck but bad judgment, points out Barney Ronay from beneath his tin hat.
When the manager finds it funny to hear his club’s owners described as “the D!ldo Brothers”, then you can infer relations may be strained, reckons Jacob Steinberg.
Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink lost his voice roaring his new side Northampton Town to victory over Doncaster, writes Jeremy Alexander in this week’s Football League blog.
Rome wasn’t built in a day and Milan weren’t restored to greatness in a summer, despite splurging millions on new talent, reports Paolo Bandini.

A quick-thinking ball boy helped Hoffenheim manager Julian Nagelsmann enhance his reputation by seeing off Bayern Munich. Andy Brassell has the skinny.

Nice are back on track thanks to some star quality from the summer’s most wanted, Jean Michaël Seri. Adam White and Eric Devin have the latest goings on in Ligue 1.

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SOURCE : GUARDIAN SPORTS
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